Tonight marks Day 1 of my Yoga Teacher Training (YTT) course – complete!
The intention is to deepen my personal yoga practice and to gain another skill to offer when I launch my intuitive travel tours.
When the little voice in my head first mentioned YTT in mid-December 2013, I questioned it a bit. The insecure me thought I am not cut out to do it, despite my on and off yoga practice started back in 1998. At one point, I was able to do a handstand – I was sooo proud of myself!
So I checked a few studios and found out Downward dog’s course has the perfect timeline for me, although a smidge more expensive. The main bonus is that Downward dog yoga studio is close by and have been around since 1997 in Toronto while offering YTT since 1998. It is a well respected studio, internationally and my mentor happens to be one of their first graduates. When I mentioned all this to my mentor, she suggested I take their Mysore class to check out the studio as I have not been there for a few years (I changed studios a few years back).
On the day of the Mysore class, I decided to show up early to inquire about YTT and give myself extra time to observe others. What I did not know in advance was that it is a popular time slot for senior instructors of the studio.
My mind was racing and I was not ready for the onslaught of self defeating comments inside my head…
“You didn’t do 1 single Sun Salutation while traveling for 8 months.”
“Look at how much flexibility you’ve lost.”
“After how many years of yoga classes and you’re still forgetting to tuck in that rib cage during downward dog.”
“You have no strength in your arms to do a proper plank.”
“Be mindful of your breath. Remember to breathe, don’t hold your breath.”
The comments just kept streaming through my mind. So I skipped quit a few of the asanas in the primary series and sat on the sidelines to watch the others in class.
I think I did my best to keep my mouth closed but seriously – Where do these people come from??
I never thought I would be fazed by yogis but that day, I somehow managed to position my mat beside the 3 most talented yogis I have seen under the age of 35 (I’m guessing their age here). The typical word that’s used to describe yogis popped up – pretzel. Literally their legs were tucked behind their back with no effort (see photo of Amica Hilton). At that point, I had completely dashed the thought of YTT.
Later on, as I spoke to a few friends and my mentor, they all reminded me that “Everyone has to start somewhere“. My mentor even used my recent achievement of over coming my fear of water as a reminder. She said and I paraphrase, “at least you’re on land, what’s there to be afraid of? You cannot drown while doing yoga.”
I kept humming and ha-ing for close to 2 weeks. My mind started manufacturing all sorts of lame excuses. I left the decision making to yesterday morning – to say Yes.
As recent as this morning, I found a new excuse – my visa card had expired and the replacement haven’t arrived. Well the Universe, really did not want me to use that as an excuse. When I returned from my swim today, the replacement card was in my mailbox!! Seriously!
So this new journey continues tomorrow when I am to learn some basic Sanskrit.
Because we ALL have to start somewhere, somehow.